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Rewriting Kanye West

Kanye West TestingIn what began as a relatively benign attempt to set the record straight about the @DWbyKanye Twitter account (which, as it turns out, was a fake), Kanye West went on a Twitter rampage last night, sending what amounts to 90 insane Tweets over the course of 10 hours.

The rapper revealed so many things—like his massive ego, his complete lack of self-control, his plans of world domination, his insomnia, the name of his new fashion company (DONDA). I tried translating his Tweets into real sentences, but it was an overly ambitious undertaking. Since Kanye manages to pack so much nuance and depth into each <140-character missive, I only made it through the first five Tweets, so it's a work-in-progress. Here's what I have so far:

I appreciate everyone's inability to stop talking about my clothing line even though it was a complete technical and conceptual failure. The only thing I find kind of disappointing about all the attention is that everyone keeps referring to my ready-to-wear line as Dw by Kanye West, even though its not really called that. The "Dw" was a design element placed on the invite in homage to my mom—not a branding effort. I've been clear about that, but people haven't been listening closely which is just so frustrating. I appreciate that someone cared enough about little old me to start the fake Dw by Kanye Twitter account, and I think it's really funny because I don't take myself too seriously and can laugh at myself, but I can't endorse it because it wasn't written by me and I can't support anything I'm not involved with.

Leonardo da Vinci once said, "Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication," which I really relate to because Leonardo was a genius, just like me, and also because I'm an incredibly simple guy but also incredibly sophisticated. It's really complicated, but I'm a really complex person.

A few other things have been on my mind, which I wanted to share. I don't currently have an agency representing me. I fired William Morris Endeavor Entertainment after Cara Lewis quit because I really like firing people and also because I'm really loyal to Cara Lewis. My colleague Eminem will likely follow Cara to Creative Artists Agency, but I'll probably shop around a little because blind loyalty is for suckers and I want to play it cool and hold out for the best offer because my career is way better than Eminem's, and everyone wants a piece.

And the raw version in full:


 

Image via Zimbio

via [CelebDirtyLaundry]

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