It's been five months since Blake Lively was spotted making eyes at Leonardo DiCaprio on Steven Spielberg's yacht in Cannes, and oh how time flies. The A-list romance, the apple of our eyes, has disintegrated into a story of PR reps, tabloids, and the cruelest phrase in the English language: they will "remain friends."
In an attempt to control the story, Blake and Leo's representatives broke the break-up to the press, hoping that we'd mourn the relationship without asking too many questions and recalibrate our attention back to Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore's divorce.
NOT SO FAST! I demand details. We don't even know who broke up with who and why! Mutual, amicable break-ups are a fairy tale. Things don't just end well—especially when the people ending things are two incredibly attractive celebrities with twelve years between them and only five months on the relationship bandwagon. I can't move on until I understand what happened here. C'mon Blake and Leo, tell us your story. Think of the children.