Another day, another designer/mass-retailer collaboration. Alberta Ferretti is coming to Macy's in April with a collection inspired by the Amalfi Coast. The Italian designer and department store are gearing the line to twentysomethings—more specifically, to 26-to-29-somethings. I fall just outside of that range, story of my life. Everywhere I go, I'm a demographic undesirable; no one ever wants to sell me anything. When I go to the store and see the racks all stocked with bright, colorful bundles reserved for so many others but me, I just spin around and around until I get so dizzy that the whole store fades away. Even if I try to buy something, it'll never fit me right. What a grim world.