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Taylor Swift Hates Wearing the Figurative Pants

My love/hate relationship with Taylor Swift is in the "hate" stage right now. The pop star covered the December/January issue of Harper's Bazaar, and the accompanying profile is a disaster. Since the piece opens in a delightfully hackneyed way — "It is a truth universally acknowledged that Taylor Swift loves dresses." — we can't hold the pop star solely accountable for all the mess that follows.

But still, Swift's words are her own, and the parts of the profile that really grate are the ones that let Taylor speak for herself.

The 23-year-old singer-songwriter may love wearing literal dresses (especially vintage frocks that make her feel like a "50s housewife" because she knows what 50s housewives felt like and take her word for it: they felt so, so good), but she cannot stand wearing figurative pants. 

"It needs to be equal. If I feel too much like I'm wearing the pants, I start to feel uncomfortable and then we break up … It's wonderful to hand over the reins to your boyfriend when you control so much of these big, high-pressure decisions, you know? That is a huge defining factor in who you choose to be with." 

Wait, that doesn't annoy me at all now that I actually read it. Have you ever tried making a decision? It's the worst. Yesterday I had to decide where to go for dinner and it nearly killed me. In fact, even President Obama refuses to make decisions about what he eats or wears, to preserve his decision-making capacities for things like running the country and not getting us into another war.

Listen, Taylor Swift *does* have a high-pressure life. She even has her own pair of branded Keds! Stop asking so much of her, like to wear relationship pants. She's just a girl.  

Wait, I promised to use this post as an opportunity to hate on her, but instead this is nothing short of a love fest. I reserve the right to change my mind, just like I reserve the right to wear my denim jacket even though I haven't washed it in a really long time. 

Image via Harper's Bazaar

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