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Tyra Banks Signs On To Do the “Life-Size” Sequel, With or Without Lindsay Lohan

In a way, it's gratifying to live in a world where the same pop culture products that occupied my time when I was a kid are reincarnated for the next generation. It gives the whole "life" thing a sense of continuity and stability: things stay the same, things matter, we're all going to be okay. (You might be able to tell I really, really hate change.)

Still, it would be nice if the things which persisted could be things of some value. For example: maybe we don't need sequels of Boy Meets World (the ABC sitcom) and Life-Size (the Disney Channel made-for-TV movie). Yet, sequels are exactly what we're gonna get. 

I'm not saying I didn't enjoy watching when I was twelve years old, but I don't think either made my life appreciably better. Although, I guess Boy Meets World taught me how to say "oh-boy-oh-boy-oh-boy-oh-boy" in a really goofy way — actually an underrated life skill, though I think there are other vehicles for teaching it. 

And I actually approve of the news that the original stars of Boy Meets WorldBen Savage and Danielle Fishel, will return as parents in the upcoming spinoff show pilot, Girl Meets World. It's very Degrassi: The Next Generation (another touchstone!).

I can't, however, say I'm as enthusiastic about Tyra Banks' decision to reprise her role as Eve in Life-Size. In the 2000 film, the supermodel plays a young Lindsay Lohan's would-be Barbie doll that comes to life in a convoluted bit of magic realism. Cue shopping montages, hijinks, crying, hugging. The sequel, sure to be as much of a masterpiece as the original (think Godfather, but for tween girls), will premiere on the Disney Channel and will hopefully not include any plugs for America's Next Top Model (think of the children!). It's a big, big mystery whether or not Lindsay will also participate in the project, but her recent foray into made-for-TV movies, with Liz & Dick, makes it seem possible, at the very least. 

Our romance with Lindsay goes back to 1998 when she starred in The Parent Trap, but I think Life-Size really solidified it. The weirdest part of it is that at the time, I don't think I really talked about Life-Size or even Boy Meets World with my friends at school. It wasn't even that I was embarassed about watching this stuff, I just somehow knew it was a thing that could remain unsaid. No one else talked about it either, but it's become apparent that, like, everyone in my peer group has seen it. Life-Size is a secret cubbyhole in our cultural imagination. 

It's a sick love affair, and though we've been carrying on like this with Lindsay and Tyra for ages, the greatest shame is that their careers won't live and die with us. Allowing future generations to fall into these same toxic relationships with TyLo is the pop culture equivalent of factory pollution: there are going to be consequences. 

Image via Getty

[via Variety]

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