Kate Middleton Is Having a Royal Baby

Okay, here you go: Representatives of the palace confirm that the Duchess is in the “very early stages” of her pregnancy, so she’s going to spend a couple days hanging out at the hospital being nutritioned and hydrated before returning home to Clarence House, where she’ll require even.more.rest. Please tell me that every woman that’s ever had a baby is rolling her eyes right now? 

Since the British Parliament passed a law changing the guidelines for succession (gender is no longer a factor, how progressive!), Kate’s baby will one day rule England, regardless of sex. 

I feel sorry for Kate Middleton. Sure, she married a Prince, so she did consent to a private life turned out for public consumption (televised weddings might seem commonplace by this point, but I still think they’re weird and gross), but being a vessel for the future ruler of England sounds extremely unfun, practically a Rosemary’s Baby situation. I would lose my mind. I guess that’s one of the infinite reasons I’m not a princess.

All my misgivings aside, I’m sure she and Prince William are very happy. Congratulations!!

Image via Getty

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