Late last night, Bloomberg posted a story reporting that Anna Wintour was on Barack Obama's shortlist to be the American envoy to either France or the UK. The British-born Vogue editor was one of the President's top 10 fundraisers this election season, bundling over $500,000 in donations for him. (According to Bloomberg, she's competing against another major bundler, Matthew Barzun, Obama's reelection campaign finance chairman.)
To be clear, this isn't the first time rumors have emerged about a possible Anna Wintour ambassadorship. Similar claims were denied earlier this year.
And although Bloomberg News has two sources who confirm that Obama's considering Wintour for a diplomatic post, a spokesperson for Vogue commented, "[Wintour's] very happy with her current job."
Still, the possibility that dear Anna will leave her longtime post at the helm of fashion's bible has me in a tizzy. Next you're going to tell me that the glaciers are receding and no one in the world actually cares about my problems. Can't compute.
Trying to imagine an Anna ambassadorship is like trying to imagine the next Macbook Pro. I live in New York, I can't even see the stars — how do you expect me to predict the future from them?
But I'll try.
Anna Wintour will steal Kate Middleton from the Royal family so John Galliano can use her as his maternity-wear muse, making his long-awaited comeback to the world of fashion.
Having turned down Michael Bloomberg's request to run for mayor of New York City (and America's request to run for President again in 2016), Hillary Clinton will become editor of Vogue instead. Girls across America will get really into brightly-colored pantsuits and start eating bread again.
- All of our documentarians will move to England so they can stand outside the U.S. embassy in London all day, trying to get a shot of Anna Wintour walking to her armored Town Car. When she finally grants interviews, she refuses to talk about her relationship with Grace Coddington — "Irrelevant!" — and tries to persuade the filmmakers to make movies about how the challenges faced by immigrants in the U.K. and U.S. relate to late-stage capitalism.
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