If you, like me, didn't watch the Golden Globes last night, then you've probably spent the morning catching up on all the exciting entertainment you missed. My New York Times iPhone app said it best with this push notification: "'Argo,' 'Les Miserables,' 'Homeland' and 'Girls' Win Big at the Golden Globes."
Just kidding, that's probably the most useless Golden Globes headline imaginable. What about the dresses, the crying, the Twittering?
Here, I'll fill you in: Last year, everyone watched Angelina Jolie try to screw her leg out of its socket to show off her thigh-high-high slit on the Oscars red carpet and then in the Fall, they also read that WSJ article about how oxblood is the best color you could possibly wear this season, and so last night's red carpet was a procession of dangling upper thighs and dresses that resembled (can we please just call it) burgundy candy wrappers.
Additionally: Jodie Foster gave a weird or brave or moving or cowardly (depending on who you ask) acceptance/coming out speech and Lena Dunham thanked Chad Lowe because of Twitter and also because Hilary Swank was a bad wife and, wow, things seem really bad in Mali right now and Taylor Swift could not hide her ugly narcissistic rage about losing Best Original Song to Adele — and Adele is, by the way, basically the most popular person on the Internet this morning.
Oh, and also Tina Fey and Amy Poehler delivered a legitimately funny opening monologue, and even though I KNOW Poehler's wearing an (okay, I'll say it) oxblood dress in the clip below, she looks original and fantastic.
Image via Getty