Karlie’s New Hair Cut Poised to Change Hair Forever

“Just hair?!” I know, I know, I’m talking crazy.

Well, how about this: I think it’s kinda mousy, sry. Karlie can, of course, afford to look a little mousy, I’m just saying it’s not her finest look. And the reason we’ve been bringing it to your attention has less to do, I think, with the actual style, and more to do with its news value. Karlie Kloss, Top Model, Cut Her Hair. Bam! Aren’t you interested in the fact that Karlie Kloss did something, anything, to her hair? Yeah.

So is The New York Times

Today we have to talk about Karlie’s hair because the paper has 1) given it a name — “The Karlie” #howcreative and 2) foretold that we’ll soon be seeing The Karlie everywhere we look. Hello, self-fulfilling prophecy! If the long bob hadn’t been a trend before — just kidding, the long bob is not a new thing at all. We first ran an article about “The Lob” in May 2011, after a crop of total nobodies like Anne Hathaway, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jessica Alba and January Jones started clogging the wire photo agencies with their sleek sorta-short hair. 

I think maybe I have no sensibility for beauty trends, because sentences like this one — “The Chop marks a turn away from the beachy waves ubiquitous on everyone from Hollywood actresses (think of Sofia Vergara) to suburban teenagers” — sound (to me) to be among the stupidest you could ever construct in any language.

Since suburban teenagers imitate Hollywood actresses, isn’t it natural that they would have similar hair styles? And since Karlie Kloss is a high fashion model, belonging to a style universe that stands apart from the mainstream, does her hair really mark “a turn away” from the kinds of looks favored by TV stars? Most importantly, haven’t people been wearing their hair in different ways since like, forever? The only difference between Karlie’s hair now and her hair before The Big Cut is seven missing inches. It’s a generic style and there’s nothing wrong with that, it just seems far less radical than if she’d gone for a pixie cut, even.

On the other hand, if Karlie Kloss ever gets a half-shave, I’ll be all like, “Let’s shut down the entire Internet to talk about it!!”

Image via Getty

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