The most important man in culture is currently covering GQ‘s August 2014 issue and he’s here to clear the air about some of the misconceptions surrounding his celebrity, marriage and long battle trying to get some damn respect from fashion brands and magazines. The ranting, raving Kanye West of last year, who pulled back the curtain on the fashion industry’s darkest secrets, like who invented the leather jogging pant (it was him!) and how to make T-shirts with chitlins, is back — and he’s dropping the most exquisite nuggets of wisdom and insight.
With an Adidas contract and a Vogue cover under his belt, Kanye returns to wax about his ~very important~ influence on culture, which has only gotten stronger since he married Kim Kardashian. According to Kanye, “The concept of Kimye has more cultural significance than what Page Six could write.” Since Page Six can’t do it, Kanye will instead walk you through every facet of his importance, as told to GQ‘s Zach Baron.
Below, a few highlights from what will likely be the #weeksmosttalkedaboutinterview.
On getting filmed hitting his head on a sign by TMZ, and what kind of fish he is:
“I’m a blowfish. I’m not a shark, I’m a blowfish. So that perfect example about me hitting my head, it’s like a blowfish. I wasn’t coming out of my house going to a paparazzi’s house to attack them. I’m defending my family in front of my own house. I’m defending my name as someone’s screaming something negative at me. That’s a blowfish. People have me pinned as a shark or a predator in some way, and in no way am I that.”
On what he talked about in his 45-minute wedding toast to…himself:
“What I talked about in it was the idea of celebrity, and celebrities being treated like blacks were in the 60s, having no rights [ed. note: didn't know Kanye and Kim weren't allowed to vote], and the fact that people can slander your name. I said that in the toast. And I had to say this in a position where I, from the art world, am marrying Kim. And how we’re going to fight to raise the respect level for celebrities so that my daughter can live a more normal life. She didn’t choose to be a celebrity. But she is. So I’m going to fight to make sure she has a better life.”
On Carine Roitfeld:
“Carine Roitfeld is the Walt Disney of what Tumblr is today. She is the Kanye West of what Tumblr is today. She’s the single most important person to what street style is today. And she was at the wedding seven seats down from Kim, who is one of the number one fashion plates of today. “
R.Kelly’s girl might remind him of his Jeep, but Kanye’s girl Kim reminds him of a dinosaur or fighter jet…or something:
“Because when a kid falls in love with an airplane or a bike or a dinosaur—especially if you’re an only child and it’s not because of the book that the sibling was reading—it’s like, fuck, you mean to tell me that the dinosaurs walked the earth and stuff like that?! That’s amazing! You mean to tell me that these giant multi-ton crafts can fly that fast and that loud, and they can flip, and there’s danger, the possibility of them exploding? That’s fucking cool! You mean to tell me that this girl with this fucking body and this face is also into style, and she’s a nice person, and she has her own money and is family-oriented? That’s just as cool as a fucking fighter jet or dinosaur!”
We’re all just jealous of Kim because she was the girl in high school who never did any homework because she was pretty enough to get someone to do it for her:
“But you’re mad because basically Kim is the type of girl that, her entire life, if you were in school with her, most people would be studying and up late nights, but for some reason she would have the skill set to go and grab the one book, turn to the exact page, and just magically say, “That’s the exact answer.” Or she could wink at the person who had done all the work and get it done anyway. And the point of life is getting shit done and being happy.”
His only regret about that “Bound 2″ music video was that there wasn’t enough T&A:
“I would have just liked to have had more nudity in it. That’s the only thing. I just want to do crazy, colorful shit like that that has more nudity.”
Balenciaga can thank Kanye West for its men’s shoe sales:
“…me, as Kanye West: I guarantee you, I’m more than 50 percent responsible for every men’s shoe that they sell. Me, the singular person. More than 50 percent responsible for every Balenciaga shoe they sell.”
More than 50 percent?