Consider your shoe fetish RUINED. An American shoe brand has really put their foot in it, today unveiling a new set of pumps designed to help you take a no-hands selfie. It’s just as visually displeasing as you had imagined.
The brand responsible for this hilariously innovative thinking is Miz Mooz, a New York shoe company which was getting a bit toey with the selfie stick aka wand of self-absorption. “The great thing about the selfie shoes is you no longer need to use your arm, so now both hands are free to be in the photo,” Cheryl Matson, Miz Mooz’ design director explained in the promo clip.
So how does this nonsense work? Well, apparently, you just insert your phone into the port (which is some god-awful elongated open-toe style situation), raise your foot as high as humanly possible to get a flattering angle, and click the internal button with tap of your toe to selfie away. Too easy!
Straight away we’re identifying serious problems. Skirts are out of the question with legs flying around for the sake of the selfie, gymnastic flexibility is a must, you instantly gain two shoe sizes, they’re just as idiotic as the selfie stick, and, well, the off-trend style is just plain wrong.
This doesn’t seem to worry the team at Miz Mooz, though, who are already planning bigger and better things for the selfie shoes. “We’re all super pumped about the selfie shoes,” said “chief innovative officer” Andrew Fried. “With wearable devices on the horizon, the possibilities are endless. We’re working on a charging functionality, as well as making the shoes water resistant, so, really, we’re just getting started.”
If, for some reason, you’re still tapping your feet at the thought of it, you can kickstart your selfie game over at miz-mooz.com/selfieshoes. And, yes, clearly a massive joke is afoot.