um isn't retinA supposed to help clear skin, not mess it up?? that freaks me out because i've been using retinA everyday for the past few months!!!
as for a good skincare system.... i have no idea because i pretty much have the same probs as you and havent found a magical cure-all yet.... BUT here's what i think:
- drink lots of water, going to bed at a decent hour and getting a good amount of sleep, eating healthy etc---kinda cliche but it truly WORKS
- i've heard lots of good things about proactiv, although i've never tried it myself. i HAVE tried the murad...i forget what its called...some sort of a basic startup kit with cleanser, toner and moisturizer and its supposed to give results in a month or two but in the few months i tried it, i didn't notice real improvement so i stopped. but maybe it'll work for you.
- i've stopped using retinA and started using another creme called Differin. its only been a few days but so far i like it because its a lot lighter and not oily like retinA, so it feels a lot lighter on the skin.
hope this helps a wee bit! oh and i think that if the grapeseed and cetaphil thing made your skin real soft and clear, then you should stick to it. the 'cycstic pimples" i think, are due to hormonal changes and not topical treatments, so its pretty normal to have these breakouts once in a while, especially around yoru period etc. good luck! and tell me if you find anything that works because i wanna try too!
I used to have such nice skin and I want it to go back.... 
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