Katie's Ungentlemanly Ex
Sure, Tom Cruise has indoctrinated Katie Holmes into an unorthodox faith, abused innocent sofas in her name (which he changed to Kate), repeatedly sucked on her tonsils in public and knocked her up with lightning speed, but, hey, at least he's not Chris Klein.
Yeah, we never thought we'd say that either, but then the actress' corn-fed ex-fiancé decided to spout off to Elle. We'd like to say he comes across in the interview as a chauvinistic, pompous bonehead, but that would be an insult to all the chauvinistic, pompous boneheads out there.
Whether through overcompensation or overconfidence, Klein, who dated Holmes for five years, spews some doltish doozies during the sit-down, beginning with whether there's a favorite meal he prepares to win over his dates.
"I don't need food to impress, man," boasts the cocky "American Pie" C-lister. "It's a flash of a smile and a nice conversation. And at the end of the day, she's cooking the food."
Chris, 26, a self-described "alpha heterosexual" who only dates "8 to 10's," also reveals how displeased he is if a woman he's seeing gains a few pounds.
"I'm not tolerant of that at all," declares the actor, who says he has no problem telling his swollen squeeze to shape up.
"When a woman isn't feeling good about herself and you combine that with her period, eventually she'll ask you if you like her body," he pontificates. "You have to say no."
Klein then rejects the interviewer's suggestion that "they're just looking for you to say, 'You look beautiful to me, honey.'" "If they do, it's placating," he scoffs. "I don't placate."
Given this attitude, it's not surprising when he admits the "worst thing" a woman ever said to him was, "You're a [expletive that rhymes with 'brass pole']."
As he recalls, "The time it really hurt was when a stranger said it. I was just trying to tell this chick to get lost. I try to treat all women with respect whether they're pretty or ugly. I want to be nice and be like, 'Wow, thanks for the attention. But get out of my face.'"
A few other gentlemanly gems from the chat include Chris describing wooing a woman as a "predator-prey situation" and admitting he stays "very closed off until a woman deserves to know me completely."
Asked if this approach makes it tough for potential partners to unravel the enigma that is Chris Klein, he sneers, "Hey, man, I'm not here to hold hands and babysit. She's got to come to the table with something."
As for his romance with Holmes, Klein reveals they "had an absolute ball, but we grew up." He insists they're still friends even though they don't talk, and dismissively says he doesn't keep up with her "amazing" Cruise coupling, which in the wake of this interview now seems slightly less cringe-inducing (curse you, Chris Klein!).
"No way," he huffs. "I've got fantasy football to play."
Meanwhile, with Katie's belly looking bigger in every photo op (still no word on a due date, but she's rumored to be about five months along), is she planning to go the traditional route once her little TomKitten arrives? The London Sun claims the actress, 26, is nixing her career in favor of "full-time" mommyhood.
"Katie has decided to give up acting altogether," a "pal" tells the tabloid. "She's been telling friends that she and Tom have decided it is best she stays at home and brings up their new baby."
Continues the source, "Her decision is raising a lot of eyebrows in Hollywood. She is at the perfect age for so many screen roles and has completely closed the door on a promising career."
The future Mrs. Cruise, who currently has no projects in the pipeline, was last seen in "Batman Begins," in which she played the most baby-faced assistant district attorney in cinematic history.
Holmes, meanwhile, is gearing up for her new maternal role by bonding with her soon-to-be stepkids. On Saturday in L.A., she turned up sans Tom to watch his 12-year-old daughter Isabella play soccer. People reports that during the game, Katie, who wore a tent-sized cream cape, engaged in a few high-fives with Bella's 10-year-old brother Connor, who was filming the on-field action.
I was following the pack all swallowed in their coats with scarves of red tied ’round their throats to keep their little heads from fallin’ in the snow and I turned ’round and there you go and, Michael, you would fall and turn the white snow red as strawberries in the summertime..
Last edited by masquerade : 15-11-2005 at 02:33 AM.
As much as it would be fun to believe that Chris Klein is a complete jerk, this interview seems totally out of sync with what he's said previously. This is the same man who said that his relationship with whatsherface was 'really special' to him and whatnot, and that if her relationship with Cruise was the right decision for her then he was behind it. Blah blah...
__________________ Candy is dandy but sex won't rot your teeth.
yeah I agree with PoC on this one. It doesn't match up with other things and honestly, even if you really thought that, he would know better than to say that in an interview to Elle, no less
__________________
“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in his or her shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.”
wtf did katie see in him... she has the most abysmal taste in men.
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