Life

Alanis Morissette: A Letter to My 15-Year-Old Self

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Getty

Hi sweet. I see all the changes that are happening in and with you right now. Your body is changing. You’re becoming a woman. You’re no longer invited to play with the guys and I know you are sad about it. They see you differently now. You’re not “one of them” in their eyes, anymore. I know you miss the old way of being the tomboy playing dodgeball with them all. And I know they kick you out of nets in street hockey now “because you’re a girl.” Yea. Bummer. I want to offer you the best of all consolation prizes—even more women to look up to. Mentors. Women you haven’t met or heard of, who, if they knew you, could support you really well. And if you knew them, you would perhaps feel less alone: Margaret Atwood. Geneen Roth. Diane Ackerman. Jennifer Louden. Margaret Paul. Elaine Aron. Susan Kano. Cheri Huber. Pema Chodron. Caroline Myss. Gabrielle Roth. Julia Cameron. Sally Kempton. Marion Woodman. Some of these women could speak to you and support you with all that you’re going through right now. I wish for The Feminine to be more part of your experience. But you are in patriarchy, and your school, your world, your environment sends you messages that you are not as important as the boys. This is NOT TRUE. You are all important and unique and I adore you. I am so happy your grandma holds you so tenderly. Go to her as much as you can. Spend as much time as you can with people who don’t want anything from you. You’re writing a new record, and you are kicking ass at school. And you are underslept. I wish naps for you. And I love that you’re a night owl. You are a true artist, never feel shame for your nocturnal tendencies, they will be curbed once you become a mom, but until then…enjoy! I sense that you are not quite ready for moderation yet. It will make more sense, this whole grey-area-thing, when you get older, and for now, I just hope that your extremes with food, sleep, work and weekend alcohol yield for you what it is you are seeking. At least temporarily anyway. No shame, sweet one. What else do you seek? Companionship? Education? Peace? Connection? You are a sweet young woman, with the kindest and most loving of intentions. And a sponge-like mind. I wish for you inspiration, comfort, giggles, expressed-ness and freedom. I wish for you empathy, support, tenderness and humor. And mostly, I wish for you the deep knowledge that no matter how high or low circumstances get, you are love and loved, both. Through and through.

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