Breaking up can cause your self-esteem to take a major hit. You wonder why you weren't good enough, why someone else may have been. You wonder why you wasted your time, and what is next for you. And before long, your sadness and self-doubt starts to show. You eat badly, you stop working out, you can't remember the last time you washed your hair or wore makeup.
This is the worst way to feel better about yourself. Taking your power back is all about reconnecting with ourselves at our very core, and releasing the layers of anger and doubt and whatever came up during the breakup experience. We often lose ourselves in romantic relationships. Feeling genuinely good again does not happen until we reconnect to our souls and allow ourselves to, once again, awaken the goddess within.
Go for a blowout, get a pedicure. Go out for drinks with friends and take tons of sexy photos. "That brighter, hotter, happy you is going to make for fantastic online dating profile material once you're ready to get back out there! And you'll never look or feel swankier than when your hair was recently done," says Virginia Roberts, an online dating coach. Roberts recommends also taking a few more serious shots that you can potentially use on your LinkedIn profile and for other professional sources. This is a great time to also kick extra butt at work, so you should put your best face forward in that online arena, too!
Invest Time in Your Body
"My experience with a bad breakup happened recently," says Joe Pepe, a personal trainer. "I have always been a confident guy, and as a trainer, my body is my temple and I was always proud of how I looked. However, after all this, I lost it all, I stopped working out, I had no motivation. I wanted my body to match my feelings, I would eat looking for comfort and I was lucky enough to not gain a lot of weight but I did lose my muscle tone." It was Joe's friends realizing he was having trouble after this breakup who saved him. "They brought me back to my first love, which was soccer. They would bring me out and I would kick the ball around and you would see me light up again, my energy levels raise, my confidence soar back. At that point, I realized I could work out my frustration by sports, and my competitive side wanted me to be the best so I have to work out to make sure I was the best. I then went into the gym and would zone into my music and work out all my frustrations (lifting, swimming, running, etc.). The workouts really helped bring my body back to its peak which brought back my original level of confidence. I also changed my music selection—usually, it's fast-paced and really upbeat. Now I was listening to music that matched my mood. I wanted to zone in on my depression, the anger of not being the right person, the feelings of being lost and having to start over. This really helped me focus in and release the bad energy I was storing up after this breakup."