Life

Simon Doonan’s Guide to Surviving the Holidays

Simon Doonan and Jonathan Adler

Simon Doonan and Jonathan Adler
Photo: Getty Images

The holidays can be a trying time. With prying questions from your family (they mean well) to depressing evenings alone, even the best of us can hit our breaking points. Before you lash out at dear old Aunt Martha, try out these tips from Barneys Creative Ambassador, and our November Guest Editor, Simon Doonan. (He’s become our life coach. Follow this mantra: Simon says.)

theFashionSpot: How do you deal with nosy questions from relatives?

Simon Doonan: I stare at them disdainfully through my lorgnettes, like Maggie Smith in Downton Abbey.

tFS: What’s the best way to navigate all that food? Some of us are trying to stick to a diet!

SD: People are so busy pigging out they will never register how much food you are eating. Simply “fake chew” like they do in movies.

tFS: You’re part of one of our favorite couples ever. How do you decide where you go for the holidays?

SD: Easy. We always go to Florida. It’s cheesy and fun…like us.

tFS: What’s the most absurd thing to ever happen to you at a holiday dinner?

SD: My mother-in-law had some groovy 60s white plastic vintage dining chairs. One of them disintegrated underneath my brother-in-law and he disappeared under the table. It was brilliant slapstick.

tFS: What’s your favorite holiday dessert?

SD: English fruitcake…and lots of it.

tFS: What is your stance on matching Christmas sweaters?

SD: Love them! Me and Jonny sing “The Little Drummer Boy” like Bowie and Bing. Google it!

tFS: How do you steer clear of drunk uncles?

SD: The drunk aunts are much more of a problem.

tFS: If one is bringing a new significant other home for the first time, what’s the number one rule to follow?

SD: Don’t oversell the new SO. If anything you should undersell. Tell your relatives that you are on the fence. Let them talk YOU into the relationship. Let them sell you.

tFS: And finally, do you kiss under mistletoe?

SD: We kiss under the mistletoe… and also next to the menorah. We are very inclusive. Happy Holidays!!!