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What We Talk About When We Talk About Michelle Obama’s Underwear

Michelle ObamaHi friends. This story. It shouldn't even exist, but here we are. The basic skeleton:

  1. The Telegraph and a couple other outlets reported that Michelle Obama and The Queen of Qater, Sheikha Mozah, closed down Agent Provocateur to shop their hearts out. The First Lady proceeded to (ALLEGEDLY) drop $50,000 on bras and underwear and negligees or whatever.

  2. The White House Press Secretary, Jay Carney, completely denied the story and basically characterized it as idiocy: “At least when I was a reporter, usually the standard for British tabloid reporting was the assumption that it was false. In this case, it’s utterly false, and it’s irresponsible of an American news organization to repeat the story, even allowing that it could be true. So it’s wrong.”

  3. The press corps pressured Carney for evidence that the story was false. The Press Secretary rolled his eyes and the rumor proceeded to spread like wildfire across the land. 

Let's clarify something: you can't really prove negative fact. As my father once said, "You can't prove you're not an elephant." Going on a $50,000 lingerie shopping spree would yield credit card statements or security tape reels, but you can't document the absence of activity. That's just not how reality works.

Look, the country's economy is in really bad shape and Michelle Obama is a conscientious, infinitely classy First Lady, whatever you think of her politics or public image. She wouldn't spend basically the equivalent of our median household income ($51,914) on undergarments at a tacky (sorry! but true) British lingerie store while a) the entire nation is freaking out about our collective money problems b) her husband, the President, is making speeches about income inequality and due to campaign for reelection, probably against the unspeakably wealthy Mitt Romney.

Please let's stop kidding ourselves. Until we see an Agent Provocateur reciept, or a camera pic of the First Lady and the Queen of Qatar rocking bedazzled bras in a changing room, let's just cool it on the creepiness and stop nosing around in Michelle Obama's underwear drawer.

Image via WeaselZippers

[via The Telegraph, WWD]