Lady Gaga Boots Drunken Adam Lambert from Her Birthday Bash; Snooki Gets Taken Way Too Seriously

Adam Lambert Lady GagaTrue to form, Lady Gaga had an eventful birthday earlier this week. I've already filled you in on her blood-stained birthday cake but here's some real drama: at her surprise birthday bash last weekend, the megastar booted Adam Lambert from the celebration because he was, in guest Perez Hilton's words, "super sloppy embarrassingly drunk." The performer's party fouls included fist-pumping so hard that he punched a hole in the ceiling, shoving dolls from the cake into Gaga's mouth, and trying to smear frosting onto her face. Eech. But Gaga didn't kick him out until he tried to upstage her impromptu performance, serenading the birthday girl as if he were trying out for another season of American Idol. [GirlsTalkinSmack]

If Lambert's over-the-top belligerence didn't turn your stomach, wait until you hear that Kevin Federline is spawning a fifth child. Federline's latest kid is courtesy of his new girlfriend, the third woman the rapper/good-for-nothing has impregnated. Since he's likely shot his chances of a happy family life by having five children with three different women, I'm not sure what kind of stunt Federline's pulling here. Maybe he's building up a ridiculously untalented but kind of attractive army? [RightCelebrity]

While her ex-husband's life is all about new horizons and untapped possibilities, Britney Spears is going back to her roots. She and former archrival Christina Aguilera have been tweeting sweet nothings back and forth. The gooey endearments have some observers speculating that the 90s teen sensations will team up, especially now that Britney has a hole to fill in her tour lineup. [DippedInCream]

You knew that Michelle Obama shopped J. Crew, but did you know that Old Navy is getting trendy amoung the celeb set? Four stars, Carmen Electra, Louise Roe, Joanna Krupa, and LaLa Vazquez, have been spotted wearing the same $34 floral Old Navy dress. We've either entered a weird parallel universe or the retail giant has added product placement to its advertising strategy. Or it's just a really nice dress? [SheFinds]

Guess who earned $2,000 more than Nobel Prize winning novelist Toni Morrison for a speaking gig at Rutgers University? If you guessed someone reasonable like, oh I don't know, anyone that's actually accomplished something, then you're wrong. If you guessed Jersey Shore's Snooki, then ding-ding-ding: you've either already heard the news or your twisted mind is a portal into our sick dystopic future, a time when something like this won't even be surprising. The reality star was tapped to speak at the reputable public university about (no joke!) her hair, fist pumps, and getting a tan. Meanwhile, the author of Beloved is set to deliver the university's largely insignificant commencement address. I'm not even a fan of Morrison (I complained every time she was ever assigned in a course all through high school and college) but she's a hugely important and talented writer and Snooki is, at best, a national joke. This news is just gross. Grossgrossgross. Ladies and gentlemen, we live in a gross world. [HaveUHeard]