Megan Fox Is Removing Her Marilyn Tattoo; Jessica Alba Will Give Birth in a Hypnotic Trance

Megan Fox Marilyn Tattoo fading

Megan Fox is getting rid of her Marilyn Monroe tattoo

Megan Fox has decided to get rid of her Marilyn Monroe arm tattoo, and has started to undergo a series of painful laser removal surgeries to scrub her skin of the detailed inkwork. Comparing photos from 2007 to more recent pictures of Fox (below), it's clear that Ms. Monroe is fading away. Fox got the tattoo when she was "really young," so I guess she's outgrown it, but I have a couple concerns: besides cutting my own hair in the bathroom when I can't sleep, I don't make too many rash decisions and I've never been able to commit to a tattoo, so my knowledge here is admittedly limited, but I've always felt that once someone's gotten a tattoo, they have to own it. The word "regret" doesn't belong anywhere near a tattoo (although, come to think of it, I would consider getting a tattoo that says, "I regret this tattoo.") Laser removal, no matter how expensive or painful it might be, is a total cop out. I imagine that most people get tattoos because they're willing to remember whoever they were at that point in their life forever and ever, so much that they want a permanent, physical imprint of their personality on their body. I might be wrong, but I think getting older requires some sort of acceptance and forgiveness of your foolish, younger self and its bad decisions. There are worse mistakes than a regrettable tattoo, and in Fox's case, it doesn't seem like her Marilyn Monroe ruined her life. Also, the actress and sex icon has a million other tattoos all over her body: a King Lear quote on her right shoulder, the phrase, "There was once a little girl that never knew love until a boy broke her heart," on her rib, a moon and star on her ankle, her beau's name on her pubic bone. Is she really going to spend the next half-decade getting laser surgery to ditch all that ink? She should just get new skin. [Starcasm]

Megan Fox Fading Tattoo

Oprah gets ready to be irrelevant 

Oprah's determined to go out with a bang: she managed to rope Ralph Lauren into giving his first interview in twenty years on one of her final shows [SheFinds], but that's nothing compared to the star power of her series finale guests. The talk show's farewell has already been filmed, and will air next Monday and Tuesday. It features Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Beyonce, Madonna, Will and Jada Pinkett Smith, Dakota Fanning, Tom Hanks, and Doctors Oz & Phil. Oprah used the finale to announce that she'd be building 25 libraries and planting 25,000 trees across the US in honor of her 25 years as a talk show host. She presented each audience member with a gift bag that included keys to a brand new house and a gift certificate for laser tattoo removal. [DippedInCream]

Jessica Alba opts to deliver her baby under hypnosis 

Jessica Alba wants to have a natural birth and to get through the pains of labor, she's planning to go under a hypnotic trance. So she can forgo numbing medication, her husband will take her through a guided meditation by saying things like, "You’re relaxed and you’re floating on clouds while you’re going through labor and your contractions." Apparently Alba used this technique to deliver her first child, and swears that it works, but I think it would drive me nuts. There's nothing less calming than someone telling you to calm down, particularly, I'd imagine, when the reason that you're less than calm is because you're birthing an infant, and person telling you to calm down is the man responsible for impregnating you, and he gets to check baseball scores on his phone and drink coffee while you scream so loud that your earlobes sweat. [AnythingHollywood]

Elizabeth Moss and Fred Armisen divorce finalized

Well, this is sad: Mad Men actress Elizabeth Moss (she plays Peggy Olsen) and Saturday Night Live comedian Fred Armisen are getting divorced after two years of marriage. Some rumors floating about blame the split on Moss' increasing involvement in Scientology, but either way, it's depressing. Moss and Armisen were basically the only Hollywood couple that weren't conventionally attractive, and that was enough to make me a fan of their union. See, Scientology ruins everything: first Tom Cruise's credibility, and now this. Or, I guess the divorce could have something to do with the fact that Fred Armisen's been dating SNL co-star Abby Elliot for the past year. I can see how that might have caused some marital problems between him and Moss, but I'd much rather blame Scientology. [I Need My Fix, GirlsTalkinSmack]