The Fug Girls Open Up About Kate Middleton, Prince William and Their New Book “The Royal We”

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge with Prince George

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge with Prince George; Image: WENN

tFS: Does Kate still drive as much traffic to your blog years after the wedding and the birth of Prince George?

JM: Definitely. Kate is a perennial interest for Go Fug Yourself readers. 

HC: Our liveblog of the royal wedding is still, historically, our most-read post. It’s been four years and people still go back and relive it. Interestingly, the two people most clicked-on and commented on are Kate and…Kim Kardashian. Two sides of a coin, in so many ways.

tFS: If you could trade places with Kate for a day, what would you do? 

JM: Try on every single Alexander McQueen coat in her closet. (And maybe a tiara or two. And her wedding dress.)

HC: I would have as many conversations with as many people in the royal household as possible. Members of the family included. They could tell me everything. EVERYTHING. I want to know where the bodies are buried, but I also want to know whether the Queen shuffles around in slippers and a bathrobe, or whether Princess Anne is a great get-a-grip friend. I would do some DIGGING. And then write it all down and then not tell anyone, because maybe my discretion would get me a second shot at it from the universe.

tFS: If The Royal We was made into a movie, who would you want to cast as Bex and Nick? 

JM: I hope it happens! This is difficult because the book spans nearly a decade, so the actors need to be convincingly 20, and convincingly nearly 30. I actually have no idea who would be good for Nick. I hope this means that, even just hypothetically, we may have to audition scores of hot British men. What a terrible fate. For Bex, I can see Shailene Woodley, or Emma Watson (although she’d need to drag out her American accent again) or Emma Stone. An Emma!

HC: Anyone who’s read the book will probably agree with my “Ed Sheeran for Gaz” campaign. I can’t really see anyone as Bex or Nick or even Freddie, and I like it that way. Because it means that to me, they are simply Bex and Nick and Freddie. If lightning ever were to strike, and it was made into a movie, we’d get to discover who they are totally organically. 

Prince Harry, Catherine Duchess of Cambridge and Prince William

Prince Harry, Catherine Duchess of Cambridge and Prince William; Image: WENN

tFS: If you could ask Kate or William one question, what would it be?

JM: I’d ask William for Harry’s number. 

HC: I’d ask them for forty more questions.

tFS: What’s your top name prediction for royal baby number two?

JM: I would just like to state for the record that I have been saying it would be Alice for MONTHS, well before the media picked this up. Which means it will be a boy. 

HC: I am rooting for a boy because I want George to have his Harry. Plus, everyone has been saying they’re sure it’s a girl—since before she was pregnant and some tabloids claimed she was having twin girls like every two weeks—and that got boring to me really fast. Also, honestly, I worry that the scrutiny on a little princess would be more suffocating. 

tFS: OK, seriously now. Team Harry or team William?

JM: I love Harry, but all things being equal and all princes being single, I have to vote for Wills. He seems like the sort to call the next morning.

HC: Team William all the way. For shallow reasons, they’re both going to end up bald—sorry, ladies, but The Red Reckoning is already on its way—and I think William will wear it better. But I agree that I think Harry is the one you want to fling and William is the one you want to lock down and grow old with and give the keys to your life-support machine.

The Royal We is available now on Amazon.