The upcoming issue of Hamptons Magazine features Barneys Creative Ambassador Simon Doonan and home goods designer Jonathan Adler in their new Shelter Island home. To be honest, I typically turn down offers to peek inside luxurious Hamptons retreats belonging to wealthy lifestyle influencers (my blood pressure will one day thank me), but Doonan and Alder are, as my editor says, the charmingest.
Hamptons made the genius decision to have the longtime couple interview each other for the main profile.
Here they are arguing over who's taller and whether or not they've just offended Helen Keller's heirs:
Simon: Jonathan—you contend that you are taller than me, and that is obviously not the case.
Jonathan: Helen Keller could see that I am three inches taller than you. Whatever gets you through the day, little fella. You are obviously delusional, and you are shorter than I am.
Simon: You’re making disrespectful, flippant references to Helen Keller, who was a wonderful, valued woman.
Jonathan: Helen Keller’s heirs—I am sorry if I offended you. But you, Simon, are freakishly undersized.
And another squabble, over which guy is the groovier one:
Jonathan: I’ve always had two authentic identities. I’ve always been authentically a potter, authentically bohemian. But I’ve also been authentically bourgeois. My challenge was how to reconcile my two authentic identities, and miraculously I’ve managed to do it. It’s just completely in my nature to be obsessed with design, but I also am kind of tszujy. You’re actually more bohemian than I am.
Simon: I am much more groovy and bohemian than you.
Jonathan: I didn’t say 'groovy'; I said 'bohemian.' I am more groovy.
(Sidenote: There's quite a bit of precedent to Adler's point about merging 'bourgeois' and 'bohemian' identities. In 2000, The New York Times columnist David Brooks wrote a book on the subject called Bobos in Paradise: The New Upper Class and How They Got There. Brooks was critical of bobos, characterizing the group as former hippies and student protesters who had ascended to positions of power but retained the lifestyle trappings of their anti-establishmentarian youth. The portmanteau has since become common in Paris, where it's typically used in more flattering terms.)
It's very worth watching the behind-the-scenes video of the shoot (below), which features the Adler and Doonan's spiritual advisor (their dog, Liberace) and lots of adorable, happy giggling.
(And read the full interview here!)