Last night, while accepting the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award at the MTV Video Music Awards, Kanye West dropped a bomb on the audience, announcing that he is planning a presidential run in the year 2020. “I don’t know what I stand to lose after this, it don’t matter though, because it ain’t about me, it’s about new ideas, bro, new ideas. People with ideas, people who believe in truth,” he said during his acceptance speech. “And yes, as you probably could have guessed by this moment, I have decided in 2020 to run for president.”
Oh yeah, Kanye we totally guessed that you, someone with no previous political experience or demonstrable interest/ knowledge of civics, politics, law or government, would be running for the highest office in the land. But we ain’t mad – it seems a lack of qualifications, a recognizable name and a big mouth is all you need to get people to back your campaign. If Donald Trump and Deez Nuts can run for president, why can’t Kanye West?
Of course, once Kanye gets his presidential vision board on fleek, he’s got to come up with a slogan. The guy has a way with words, so we think he’ll have no problem conjuring a few, but just in case, we’ve got some ideas to help get those creative juices flowing. Not that the greatest presidential candidate of all time will ever need them.
Kanye West: Going H.A.M. for the Middle Class
Our unstable middle class needs a champion who is going to work for them and Kanye West is it. He will not only work hard, but he will work hard as a mothrf****r to make sure America’s middle class is strong again. That’s a promise.
Bound 2 a Vision of a Doper America
There are few things more important in life for Kanye West than dopeness and we have no doubt the rapper will spread it from sea to shining sea on the campaign trail.
Dr. Kanye West: the Steve Jobs of Presidential Candidates
What does America love more than Apple products? Somebody who compares himself to the pioneer of those products. As a creative genius, Kanye has a vision to change America different from other politicians because it exists outside any formal knowledge of how government works. He’s a creative with an honorary doctorate from the School of the Art Institute of Chicago – he doesn’t need basic knowledge on how our electoral system operates, he’ll create a new one. Because that’s what dope history-making creative mavericks do.
Kanye West Doesn’t Care About Wack People
There are two kinds of people in the world: dope and wack people. America is no place for wack people. President West promises to deport all wack people and make them pay for a border around their wack enclave themselves.
Vote for Me If You Want Free Yeezy Boosts
Kanye would do well to keep his message direct and square away the Hypebeast demographic before anyone else does. Nothing does that better than the promise of free overpriced kicks.
I Got Ideas, Bro
The most important thing for a presidential candidate to have is ideas and Kanye has a lot of them. And they are the best ideas ever because no mind is greater than Kanye’s.
Who Needs Sway? Kanye West Has All the Answers America Needs
Climate change, income inequality, the prison industrial complex: these are just a handful of the problems America faces today and yet, where is Sway with any of the solutions? All he has are more questions and that’s not what America needs. Kanye has the answers and he will let us all know via an hours-long Twitter rant.