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Other Ways Ryan Lochte Could Have Greeted Anna Wintour

Yesterday at the Ralph Lauren show, Olympian Ryan Lochte — who has, by the way, been man-about-towning all New York Fashion Week, because he's hoping to launch his own line next year — spotted Anna Wintour perched in the front row.

Lochte, who shared this year's worst-selling Vogue cover with Serena Williams and Hope Solo, naturally assumed that fashion's biggest banana would love to see his smiling, vacant face. According to reports, she seemed to be fine with it right up until Lochte extended his hand and rubbed her knee in greeting. Photo evidence was posted to Twitter by none other than Lochte's own manager, Erika Wright. Styleite's account: "We saw [Wintour's] face go from bemused acceptance to utter shock."

Even though I have absolute faith in Lochte's judgement, forever and ever, the Knee-Grab may not be the best way to say 'hey' to fashion's most feared and powerful editor.

But I get where he's coming from. The air kiss is just so predictable and Lochte is a creative thinker. Could there possibly be a better way to greet Anna Wintour?

Some suggestions:

  • Put your palms together and bow 90°.
  • Tenderly brush a strand of hair away from her eyes.
  • Lift her pinky finger to your mouth and suck on it.
  • Lie on your back, press your knees into your chest, and roll around on the floor.
  • Brush your nose against hers.
  • Flutter your eyelashes against hers.
  • Bump your fist against hers, Obama-style.
  • Give her a hug and use your tongue to spell out your name on her neck.
  • Take her in your arms and lead her through a quick rendition of the foxtrot.
  • Shake her hand.