Kim Kardashian is now a game, and I spent my weekend playing it. Three days later with $20 less to my name, I am happy to announce that I've finally made it onto the D-list. As the game teaches, it takes charm, flirting, networking and checking your makeup, but without real cash, you'll only get so far.
The game encompasses a Kim-like career in the early stages — posing for pictures, schmoozing at clubs and buying stuff to elevate your status and profile with the help of Kim’s guidance and network to get you started. The game also regularly gives insightful tips to help you on your quest to celebrity, like how dating a celebrity will help your career. What a great message to teach the young Kardashians, but hey, I’m the 26-year-old who shelled out cash to climb my way onto the D-list (which was quite a feat) and hang out with virtual Kim for a quick sec. Actually, Kim’s not in the game a ton. She’s like a mystical guide to celebrity and starts you on your voyage, which consists of working retail, small modeling gigs and club appearances.
You’re asked to complete tasks, such as flirt or network when you meet people, buy drinks, change clothes, pose for pictures and basically just read the screen, then tap a lot to get money until your energy is drained. The fictional character they give you has terrible stamina and real money seems to be the only way to replenish energy. It wasn't until day two of gaming that I learned if you exit the game, your character will regain energy and some cash (the fake stuff), only for it to quickly disappear again and prompt you to buy more (which obviously I did).
The game is free to purchase at the App Store and on Google Play, but progressing will cost you the real deal — not that fictional money you’re busy earning on photoshoots and retail jobs. The underlying theme to this game seems to be that money is the real way to make it to the top. Wow, that's refreshing. And despite comprehending this basic fact, I'm still playing. What can I say, it took me a while to get to where I am in faux-celeb land and I don't want all that time to have been fruitless.
Here are a few other things that stood out during my weekend of gaming.
- Appearance is top-of-the-list.
- So is drinking. Going out and buying drinks only adds to your coolness.
- Always be flirting or networking — focusing on celebrity status, of course.
- Getting ahead will cost you, for real.
- Making a scene will grab more attention and increase your fanbase.
Verdict: Not only did I lose a few brain cells along with some of my hard-earned cash, the app plays like some meta con game which encourages you to make money to advance, all the while you're just lining the real-world Kim's pockets. Keep this "free" game away from your sisters, nieces, kids and any other impressionable young girl you hope will grow up to have depth and intelligence with more aspirations than being a faux celebrity. What's your stance on this? Leave a comment in the section below.