Freaked About Turning 30? Here’s Why It’s So Much Better Than Your 20s

image: Alberto Reyes/

image: Alberto Reyes/

There's something every modern woman needs to know today: worrying about turning 30 is something your mother did. And much like landline phones and party lines (ask her, she'll tell you), it's totally passé. Now, I don't mean to say you shouldn't be working hard in your 20s to figure yourself out and have meaningful experiences that jive with who you are personally. I mean to say that life often gets better after 30, no matter what some old school idea of being a "grown up" and having "responsibility" implies about not having fun anymore or not having a highly enjoyable life. Is 30 the new 20? No, because it's way, way better than 20 ever was or ever will be. Here's why:

Your Style Gets…Better 

If you recall your first forays into fashion, you no doubt picked up every trend you could find, everything that looked remotely appealing or made you feel like part of the "in" crowd. You wore a lot of unflattering stuff, and you wasted a ton of money. But now you know what works on your body, you like your body, you like its quirks that make you special, and you know how to dress it—well. Your sartorial skills improve over time. Don't believe us? Check out this evolution of Kate Moss's style. She didn't start to become the icon she is today until around 2003/2004, that is, age 29/30.

Your Head Gets…Clearer

I could write a novel on the clarity that comes with life experience. Hm, maybe I will one day. But for this article, let's just say you become one with who you are, and that means you start making the right decisions for yourself. You realize you don't necessarily have to do what everyone expects or tells you. You'll really start to freely think about what works for you, and you'll find that though you may go through a transition, you'll end up on the right side of what you need to be happy. Don't be surprised if your brain starts coming up with mad ideas to make your dreams come true in place of that blank canvas you were working with at 24. Pursue them!

Your Heart Gets…Lovelier

I mean this figuratively, of course. Your heart will look exactly the same, but the emotions we so romantically attribute to our heart, well, they evolve. Chances are, you've had one (or 100) heartbreaking moment(s) by now. In your 20s, you think you'll never recover. In your 30s, you have recovered into a better partner, a better friend and a better person, making life all around more peachy. With empathy comes better relationships, and true empathy takes lumps and experience to develop — it's called your 20s.

Your Time Gets…More Precious

You figure out there are so many better things to be doing with your time. I mean, taking a walk and loving how amazing nature is (you'll start to love nature, FYI, and fresh air), indulging in a hobby, taking a long bath…you're just not going to let people waste your time like you did back in the day. Why? How? Because your higher self-confidence gives you permission to love your own company and not look for validation solely from the approval of others. 

Your Face Gets…Prettier

Okay, back to Mom for a second. Have you seen pictures of her at 20 versus, say, 35? If not, give it a shot. You'll notice that even though we're told we're full-fledged adults in our 20s, many of us are carrying around a nice little layer of round-faced baby chub that naturally disappears as you get older. Your bone structure lets your beauty shine. Lips look fuller, eyes look brighter, smiles look broader.

Your Emotions Get…Perspective

Because you've been through some downs, you really get to appreciate your ups. Gratitude is one of the most lovely feelings we can have, and it increases with age, just like self-love. I don't say that just to sound encouraging, this really happens. If I was an MD with a psych degree, I'd tell you how, but as a post-30 woman myself, I'm going by experience. Almost without warning, your shoulder shrugging during inconvenient situations (as opposed to pouting and pitying) goes up like 75%. Great things become amazing and BAD things become meh, unfortunate. In other words, you'll no longer sweat the small stuff.

Your Sex Gets…More Awesome 

Don't think about your past "hook ups" that made you cringe the next day. Or that boyfriend whose personality you really liked, but whose sleepovers you didn't. All of that is behind you after 30. Wanna know why? It's that whole self-confidence thing. You're not afraid to say what you do and do not like, partly because you know how to say it without making it the biggest deal ever. With communication, or that all-important walk away shoulder shrug, you're on the path to the best sex of your life. 

You Know "30 Things Before 30" Lists Are Lame

Oh, did I think these mattered before I turned 30. Oh, did I think I might have "missed out" if I hadn't "completed" something on one of these lists. Oh, do I snicker and roll my eyes at them now. With so many friends, so many experiences, you get that we're all on our own individual path. Rushing to catch up to the status quo is just silly. Doing things as you're ready, based on your own path, is the only way to go. I'm not through any 30-before-30 list and yet I'm still in tact, and gasp, happy! Imagine that.