If we weren’t well acquainted with Lindsey Wixson’s wide-eyed, cherubic stare, we’d think the Neiman Marcus Christmas Book cover star had just seen the Ghost of Christmas Past or, better yet, the price tag on one of the underlying catalog’s fantasy gifts.
Continuing in its annual tradition, the Dallas-based retailer recently released its notorious glamorous holiday gift guide. Now on its 90th edition, the catalog’s contents remain as covetable and costly as ever. That said, with a little penny-pinching and a heart full of love for the intended recipient, many of the gifts featured in the catalog are totally attainable. The 300-page (700-product) tome offers would-be Santas a meticulously curated selection of fashion, beauty, accessories and housewares from which to choose.
The Fantasy Gifts category is where things start to unhinge. True to its name, only in our wildest dreams — or utter madness — would we empty our bank accounts for these exorbitant gifts. Even knowing that some of the proceeds go to benefit charities like The Heart of Neiman Marcus Foundation, the Grammy Foundation and the Akola Project does little to sweeten the deal. (Yup, it’s like that.)
This year, the evil geniuses over at Neiman Marcus truly outdid themselves. The fantasy gifts range from once-in-a-lifetime experiences (a VIP Grammys experience so you and your S.O. can live your best Kimye life, a slumber party at the department store’s Dallas flagship) to more lasting, er, investments (a $1.5 million rose gold plane, a $100,000 set of children’s classics). Click through the slideshow below for the 411 on all 11 gifts and prepare to suspend your holiday cheer/disbelief.
Images: Courtesy of Neiman Marcus
Neiman Marcus
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Neiman Marcus #1
Who said you needed talent to live your Broadway dreams? Thanks to Neiman Marcus, you can buy a walk-on role in the musical Waitress. The $30,000 price tag will not only get you on stage, it'll grant you four show tickets, a meet-and-greet with the cast and a pie-making lesson with Stacy Donnelly of Cute As Cake, dessert consultant to the stars. Or you could put a down payment on a modest apartment — whichever.
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Neiman Marcus #2
Imagine showing up to your next college reunion in this bad boy. For a paltry $1,500,000, you (or one of your loved ones) could be the proud owner of a rose gold Cobalt Valkyrie-X private plane. Perks include seating for three and two years of around-the-clock technical support in the U.S. Quick, snatch it up before Kylie Jenner does.
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Neiman Marcus #3
If you think your fear of flying is standing in the way of you and gilded transportation, think again. Neiman Marcus is also offering a limited-edition Infiniti Q60 designed exclusively for the retailer. Your $63,000 dream ride comes equipped with an indoor car cover, white leather sport seats, a matching leather weekender bag and a letter of authenticity, a testament to the buyer's "originality" aka baller status.
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Neiman Marcus #4
For the billionaire raising bookworms, a curated collection of 36 Caldecott Medal-winning children's books. The $100,000 assortment spans almost 80 years of literature and features only first editions or early printings, natch.
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Neiman Marcus #5
For seven days (and $700,000) you and seven friends can live like literal royalty, dividing your time between three different country estates in England (Alnwick Castle, Wilton House and Blenheim Palace). You'll have a Michelin-starred chef, a fleet of SUVs and a ton of clay pigeons (for shooting, duh) at your disposal. Hey, we've heard you tend not to regret the money you spend on experiences...
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Neiman Marcus #6
Kanye West won't be at the 59th Annual Grammy Awards, which means it'll be up to you (or your guest) to grab the mic from an unsuspecting announcer and credit Frank Ocean with the best album of the year. A mere $500,000 will buy you airfare, transportation, lodging at The Peninsula Beverly Hills, two $1,000 Neiman Marcus gift cards and a personal shopper to help outfit you for the occasion, a backstage tour of the venue during rehearsals, pre-show hair and makeup, an invitation to the Pre-Grammy Gala, a poster autographed by the talent, a gold Gibson Les Paul '59 Reissue guitar and a stroll down the red carpet.
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Neiman Marcus #7
Neiman Marcus just gets us. It was only yesterday that we thought to ourselves, "If only three-time Super Bowl MVP Joe Montana was here to throw the ol' pigskin around with, life would be that much sweeter." For $65,000, the legendary quarterback will coach you and three friends for a day, personalize a football and pose for a photo. Disclaimer: The training will take place in the Bay Area, not your backyard, and whether or not Joe hearts your follow-up Instagram post is totally up to him.
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Neiman Marcus #8
Rather than selling one's internal organs on the black market in the name of holiday bounty, buy this bracelet for the "optimist" in your life. It'll only run you $25 and all proceeds from sales of the eco-friendly handmade jewelry will go to the Akola Project, which benefits marginalized women across the globe.
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Neiman Marcus #9
Because pessimists must suffer both psychologically and financially, prophets of doom and gloom can purchase a mattress concealing a built-in lockbox for 1,000 times the cost of a world-bettering Akola bracelet.
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Neiman Marcus #10
Everyone who watched riddled with envy as Ryan, Marissa, Summer and Seth camped out in the mall, this one's for you. For $120,000, you and 11 of your BFFs can spend the night in Neiman Marcus' downtown Dallas flagship. Highlights include personalized print pajamas, playtime in the retailer's Precious Jewels Salon, a makeshift movie theater, free-flowing booze and bougie snacks, beauty treatments courtesy of Le Métier de Beauté and the company of Ken Downing, the missing link in all inner circles. Or you could forgo the sleepover, jaunt over to Neiman Marcus and take home far more than mani-filled memories.
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Neiman Marcus #11
Once "carried aboard the yachts of princesses, movie stars, and moguls" who frequented Cannes, Monaco and Nice in the 50s and 60s, these his and hers island cars weigh in at $65,000 apiece. Given that they're decked out in Lilly Pulitzer prints — and filled with similarly decorated totes, towels, swim trunks and caftans — you're totally getting your money's worth.
